Hello everyone. It's been awhile since I have been here.  So I guess it's time for an update. First thing I found a job in August 2010. I'm working at Koons Ford, Falls Church VA as a sales consultant. If you are looking for a new or used vehicle give me a call at 301-509-8029.

Second I'm very close to achieving my weight goal for the year. My goal was 168 lbs. This morning was 171 lbs,  I've been fluctuating 169 to 171 for 4 weeks or so. I need to work on the blood pressure though, hope to have health insurance again soon.

I still have a bunch of challenges, but my state of mind is much better and my outlook has improved.

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The events of the past weekend, both personal and observed, have convinced me that it is time for each of us to take a deep breath, slow the heck down and start fresh. From earthquakes, mine disasters, an unexpected loss of a loved one to the loss of a job that we identified too strongly with, it is time to slow down and take stock in who we are, where we were and what we are going to do in the minutes, days, months and years ahead.

Nothing is guaranteed to us except for choice. We are guaranteed our right to choose. Be it a course of action, a way of being, to be happy or not, everyday we have an opportunity to "choose" what our future will hold. My request and my pledge is to choose friends, family and balance over trappings, stress and the emptiness of strangers. I choose to do all I can to create a life that I will be proud of, secure in and will benefit those around me. I choose to move away from those who wallow, complain and conspire. I choose to make the world around me, both near and far, a better place and I choose to embrace my children and appreciate each one for who they are. I choose forgiveness over a grudge. I choose to forgive myself from my past, accept my present and embrace my role in creating my future.

This is my choice. What's yours?

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The past couple of days have been quite wet here in upstate New York. But, that has been a great incentive for me to begin putting things in motion for the new season of farmer's Markets and fairs that I hope to participate in this year. As You Wish Cuisine is alive and well and I am so looking forward to striking out on my own. Wish me luck.

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My family faced a tough decision a few years ago.  My mother, whose Alzheimer's disease was progressing, needed placement in a memory care unit for her own well-being, as well as my father's.  He especially wanted to hold out as long as possible.  We all knew the placement would be inevitable.  The question was When?

We were wrestling with some of the saddest realities of our lives and facing difficult decisions.  When Hospice entered the picture, we gained the  enormous benefit of a case manager.

The case manager helped us to understand that our mom had more to gain from being moved while she still had some level of function.  Arriving before her decline was too advanced, and still able to participate, she would make a better adjustment to her new world. Overall health was likely to improve with all of her needs being met in an environment entirely geared to her situation.  And her family could become her family again, and not the full-time caregivers.

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High Blood Pressure - Weight Control January 2010

It's been about a month since I decided to lose 10 to 12 pounds. My weight goal is 168 pounds by December 2010. I started working on this project January 6, 2010.  Well I was up and down during the month, but the bottom line is I lost zero pounds in January 2010. I was 179 pounds on Jan 6 and 179 pounds on January 31.

I have been working on my 10,000 step program in an effort to work on my activity level. Most days I was successful meeting that target. I had a medical procedure on January 18th. It took me a few days before I was back up to speed.

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Having spent so much time in nursing homes and Hospicecare centers over the past couple of years I'm thinking of starting a new profession: death coach. 

A visit to the palliative wing of a geriatric hospital yesterday reminded me how familiar that setting still feels.  I almost miss being in a place where what you say doesn't matter so much, as a look, a smile or a simple gesture. 

I accepted my mother's Alzheimer's disease, and applied myself to learning new ways to express love, as the old intellectual and verbal avenues shut down.

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One of the big steps for me in bouncing back from breast cancer is to not blame myself for getting this dreaded disease.  I read a number of books on healing when in treatment and talked with people about healing.  An underlying theme I continued to run into was one of "blaming the victim"--that I had caused or contributed to my disease through stored up resentments, unresolved issues from the past, guilt, anger and so on.  As if going through chemo and radiation and being on disability for 8 1/2 months wasn't hard enough!  Now it's all my fault to boot!

I found this frustrating and unproductive in my own healing process.  As a Type A, over-functioning female, I already feel more than my share of guilt; I already blame myself for more than my share of the world's problems; I already feel bad about not being a more perfect person!  This is not to say that I cannot benefit from personal, emotional, mental and spiritual housecleaning and clearing up the past.  During treatment, I certainly had time to look at myself, reflect on past actions, make amends and have meaningful conversations where they were needed.  But I do not believe that resentment or anger caused my disease.  Feeling good about myself--my whole self--and taking steps to enhance this, brings health and healing, not adding one more thing to feel bad about and for which to blame myself. 

Last week, I was at a meeting where someone who was NOT a cancer survivor talked about the importance of dealing with old resentments in order to heal from cancer because this was a big cause of illness.  It may be for her or some people.  I ignored her and found ways to feel good about myself and my healing process.  No shame, no blame!      +Linda

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I decided to lose about 10 to 12 pounds starting on Jan 6, 2010. I have high blood pressure that is controlled with medication, but my readings are always higher than normal and a lot of times higher than recommended. I want to see if the additional weight loss and exercise has an impact.

About 3 years ago I went from 205 pounds to 185 pounds. It took me a year. I'm currently 179 pounds and want to go to 168 or so. According to the BMI for my height I should be max of 159, but that is far too thin for my taste. I'll be happy with the 168 if I make it. When I lost the weight before I used Weight Watchers for the first 6 months. Then I did it on my own from the six month mark. I'm not much of a dieter. I'm into vegetables, fish, and whole grains big time. I don't drink any milk, but I like Greek yogurt. Also I'm very light drinker. I like an occasional shot of Crown Royal or Ouzo. I'm not historically a disciplined exerciser, but I bought a pedometer and I walk a minimum of 10,000 steps every day no matter what. 10,000 steps works out to around 5 miles.

Below is a list of daily steps with blood pressure and weight. When I get a chance I will probably switch the list for a color chart.

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